My cousin, the groom, is a few years younger than I am, but has lived a far more storied life than my own. I’m assuming he will read this (we are FB friends and he’s read before), but I’m not concerned I’ll say anything that either surprises or upsets him. For a nice Jewish boy that grew up in southern Connecticut, tattoos and piercings have covered a good deal of his flesh for most of his adult life. He is also a master of his craft, sought out for his expertise in piercing across the country. The average person, including me if I didn’t know better, might think he was a bit of a bad ass, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I haven’t actually seen him in many years, for reasons that (a) don’t matter and (b) have nothing to do with the two of us, but one smile is all it took for me to know he’s the same sweet cousin I knew growing up. From the minute I got the invitation in the mail I knew I would be there, and from the second I found him on Facebook, I knew how much that meant to him. His bride, my new cousin, looked like a storybook princess. She’s got some artwork too, but all I saw was an angelic face and mesmerizing beauty. I’ve been to plenty of weddings, but this bride and groom were different (and not for the obvious reasons), they radiated love and happiness. I felt it. Jeffrey felt it. It seemed like the whole room was floating on their cloud.
The room told its own story, and again, not the one I would have thought. Here we had two families, both with potentially uptight Connecticut relatives mixing with varying degrees of tattoo coverage, piercings, pink hair, and body accessories (I’m sure there is a more technical term),and nobody cared. Sure it was fascinating from a strictly visual perspective and I wished I had asked more questions about some of the hardware I saw attached to noses and ears. It didn't make me want to run out to the Green Man (our local tattoo destination and my cousins former place of employment), I am deathly afraid of all needles, even a blood test. I will also admit that if one of my boys came home with some of this stuff I would have to take a very deep breath, but I know I would love them just the same. What I realized very quickly was that we were all the same; just people at a wedding celebrating a couple we love. I wasn’t judging them any more than they were judging me. My hair color, manicure and occasional Botox (like once a year, if that) are maybe just more socially acceptable forms of self-adornment. I've never stepped more than a little to the left of mainstream, always a bit too afraid to be judged I guess, and other than my attitude, I don't see that changing anytime soon. I arrived in my best suburban attempt at "edgy" with a leopard print dress, but I think it read more "Real Housewives" than anything else. I have to say, it takes a special kind of person to swim against the tide; I hope that in the future I will spend a little more time admiring that strength instead of questioning those choices.
Scenery aside, the best part of the night was hanging out with the rest of the family. The groom’s dad, who passed away a few years ago, was my mom’s first cousin. My mom is an only child and he was much more like a big brother to her growing up, thus we all spent a good deal of time together as kids. Life, family and geography made our visits much less frequent in recent years, but last night showed absolutely no evidence of a lapse in time. Surely, the kids got older (we, of course, did not), but that made it even more fun. My 14 going on 25-year old cousin feels like a new friend and her little brothers Bar-Mitzvah date is already on my calendar. I can say without question that there will be shopping trips and dinner plans soon.
I wish I took more pictures, and not for the reasons that you think. There were definitely some sights, but it was more about the big picture, all different and all the same. I’m surely facing more truths every day about who I am and who I want to be, and last night taught me a big lesson. I realized that a girl or boy I might have stared at or joked about last week could have been dancing next to me last night. I have never judged my cousin by what you see on the outside, it makes no difference to me. I’d like to believe that I learned to see everybody else's cousins the same way.
This wedding was special, this couple is special. When I told my cousin how beautiful his wife looked, he looked at me and said "she is beautiful in every way," and right then I knew, they would live happily ever after.
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| The Girl Cousins |
It was such a pleasure to have you and Jeffrey by my side ! You both look great and it has been far too long . I'm looking forward to you guys coming to Boston and doing the town like we did when we were kids !
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