Weekend Update

My blog is one week old today and I have already learned a few things. At the onset, I never mentioned how often these posts would occur and honestly I had no idea if I would have enough to say on a daily basis. I have been told on more than one occasion this week (by the people who seem to know me best) “there is a lot going on in there.” The “there” being my head and yes, it is a pretty noisy place. I have always been keenly aware of the constant narrative in the background. Not in the creepy “I hear voices” kind of way, just an inner dialogue. Curse or blessing, depending on how you see it, I have a tendency (a strong one) to overthink things. For whatever reason I don’t take much at face value, there are always lines to read between. I am forever looking beneath the surface. Even if there isn’t a second layer, I will attempt to uncover it. I need to accept that not everyone is an "overthinker." So here I am 7 days in, and so far I have enough to say and enough people who want to hear it.

I have also realized that I have much more free time than I thought. Apparently, when you really feel strongly about something, you find the time to do it. Evidently I did not feel strongly enough about Pilates (made and cancelled 6 appointments with the trainer) or Spinning – both of which happen within steps of my office at the JCC. A mental workout seems to motivate me in ways a physical one ever could. I think you get the point; we make time for what's important, for everything else we make excuses. I have to admit that I have played far less solitaire and done almost no online shopping.

Spontaneity, I have learned, produces the best posts (I would also suggest the same holds true for most other activities). Part of what makes this easy for me is the pure regurgitation of my thoughts, not saying there isn’t always a period of review and revise, but “stream of consciousness” keeps it honest. In some ways this goes against my opening premise of “over thinking,” kind of funny that my best writing happens when I do just the opposite. Your comments to me, both in person and on line, reassure me that you like it that way.

This brings me to my next lesson, one that is not entirely new (and surely not surprising to most of you). I do like the attention, not in a need for approval kind of way, more in a Sally Field “you like me” kind of way. This has led to a slight obsession with the blog "stats" page. Post visits are tracked without identifying the visitors (just in case you were wondering). Can’t lie, even I am surprised that I was visited over 700 times this week (excluding my own). Equally as cool (and baffling) is the geographic distribution, no surprise that most are from the US, but who is checking me out from Australia, Bahamas, Canada, Germany and The Netherlands? Jeffrey, the usual recipient of the thoughts in my head (without the review and revise period) is equally pleased that I have another audience. So thanks for the positive reinforcement; I have to admit that it feels good.

One last thing, and maybe the one that matters most. Although this is "all about me", it connects me to you. Whenever you came into my life or how much of it we spent together, it’s nice to know you’re still there. With every word I write I'm thinking of someone or some moment I spent with you. Come to find out, I am not taking this journey2fifty alone, and it's nice to have company.