Lost and Found

While doing some blog research (a little like the blind leading the blind when "blog" help sites are written by "bloggers"), I came across a term I have certainly heard before but it suddenly seemed both relevant and personal. IRL, Internet slang for "in real life", as opposed to what happens in the virtual world. The idea of a virtual world used to conjure up gamers obsessed with Worlds of Warcraft or The Sims, living vicariously through cyber versions of their alter egos. Now I come to find out that I (and probably you too if you are here) have both a "real life" and a virtual one.  The latter encompasses all of our interactions and relationships that don't happen "face to face"(FTF). If your "real life" is anything like mine, we are both enjoying a full virtual life. Before you disagree, think for a minute about the people in your world; how many of those friendships are sustained "on-line"? If the "cord" were cut, how long would it be before you made contact and would you even know how?

I will be the first to admit that Facebook is part of my daily life, and I'm glad. I could live without the "status philosophers"(sorry) and the Farmville requests, but I don't want to live without my "friends." Facebook, in my "almost-fifty" perspective, has been a personal "Lost and Found.” Of course, not all of my 468 friends were lost and certainly they all didn’t need to be found. I'm thankful for the needles that emerged from the haystack. It started with my camp family (yes, Tevya again), like a Rubber Band ball, we found each other one by one and each layer binds us closer together. I found my BU classmates much the same way, one friend request after another until it seemed entire dorms were re-assembled. In some cases, names and faces were less than familiar, but "tagged" flashback photos connected 80's hairstyles with current profile names.  Out of this larger group came a core of six, my BU girls, a Facebook gift. We keep up with the basics courtesy of the news feed, but also connect "live” every few months. We are only weeks away from our next dinner (Who knows how many days? I know you are reading.), so you'll hear about them again soon. The childhood friendships are not as Facebook dependent; small-town roots run deep and most of us have never lost touch. Family photos and personal updates fill in the blanks for those who are no longer in the "neighborhood." I won't deny the guilty pleasure of viewing profiles and photos of high school's finest (in their opinion) only to discover that they peaked in 1980.  It's like a virtual reunion without the need for small talk. Admit it, you've dabbled in FB stalking, and it's fun. We've all done the old boyfriend/girlfriend search, sometimes more successfully than others, but occasionally old emotions can morph into a cherished friendship. I have discovered relatives I never knew and may never meet, and found relatives I grew up with that I miss seeing "in real life." My virtual life feels very "real" to me and I'm certain without it, my universe would be incomplete. (Think Tom Cruise, "You complete me.")

Good or bad, we are all living a bit of a "double life." Nothing can replace the “FTF" bonds “IRL."(see above if you don't remember). A virtual hug and kiss (xoxo) will never substitute for the real thing and looking in someone's eyes will always tell us more than a photograph. In my experience, each one sustains the other; all the people that got me to today remind me how grateful I am to be here. Life does not often give us a "do-over”, but in this case we do get the chance to rebuild or even repair what was once important. When we are really lucky, the best parts of our past become part of our future, and in my case, I am very lucky.