HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

August 13, 2012 will be my 50th birthday. Although the actual age thing does not scare me, the significance does.  Journey2fifty is my admittedly self-indulgent chronicling of where I've been, where I'm going and all the scary truths that go along with it. In reality my life is the best its ever been; married 25 years to a man who is completely in love and in sync with me, 3 amazing sons whose hearts beat inside of mine, a Mom who loves me the same way, 2 brothers who still protect and love me like the big/little sister that I am, a 96 year old twice-widowed grandmother who makes feel like a little girl (in the good way) and great friends who fill my life with laughter,  honesty, and support even when i might not deserve it. It's the next unwritten chapters that are heavy on my mind. It seems that after all my childhood wishes have come true I forgot to create new ones for the future. Of course there are obvious visions of grandchildren and golden years but it's the gap in between here and there that I hadn't planned for.

 It's been years since I've actually written much more than a letter or a birthday poem, and it feels good to write again without grades. "Blogging" seems the perfect outlet for a grammatically  challenged Jewish mom doing her best to avoid a midlife crisis. Hopefully exposing this  year long journey 2fifty will  uncover new dreams or rediscover old ones.  Some of you will find this completely out of character for me (although we all know i like to talk, too much)  and others will say "who cares" (can't say that wouldn't be me) - either way it's ok. Although a little  uncomfortable making this a "public" exercise, I know if it's not out there for someone else to read,  it  leaves me less accountable to complete the process.
This soul baring rite of passage will hopefully get me through the next 50 years with as much joy and far fewer tears than than the first. So, as maybe they say in the blogosphere ,the first post is the hardest, hopefully.
Happy 49th to me.

My beautiful mom the day before I was born.