A Bedtime Story.

I had something completely different on my blog agenda today, almost entirely written in fact, and then I had a thought (big surprise I know).  Jeffrey kissed me goodbye at 7, I stayed in bed (it's Friday, my weekend begins today). Downstairs at 8, coffee started, seat at the island, Today show on, and then the “thought”, not necessarily the first one of the day, but the one I wanted to share.

I have been sleeping very well. In fact, since I started writing this blog I am feeling quite rested. I'm not talking about a completely uninterrupted 8 hours a night, 20 something's still live here and I have a 49 year old bladder. What seem to be changing are the middle-of-the-night internal conversations that have plagued me for years. I've always fallen asleep without much trouble (if timed appropriately with you know who's snoring), it's the 2 or 3 am wakeup (dog, child, strange noise, bathroom) that starts the torturous process. Whatever is on my mind is evaluated and re-evaluated, problems get solved, questions get answered (I'm a genius in the dark). I tell myself to go to sleep (not out loud, in my head) but I don't listen, there's so much more to think about. Strangely I don't get up and accept insomnia, I stay there and watch the neon digits turn to 3 and then 4. On occasion I've reached for the iPad (this past year anyway) always within arm’s reach, and written an email.  Not the best idea (sort of like drunk dialing and equally as dangerous). My advice if you attempt it, "save as draft”, enough said. To make matters worse, my brilliance seems to lose much of its sparkle in the light of day. End Result, sleepy days same issues.

Pharmacuetical solutions have been offered for years (Ambien, TylenolPM, Xanax), but I like to control the process and don't enjoy the groggy, drug induced snooze. If this was a daily problem I would be more inclined to investigate other options, but it ebbed and flowed with my life. Good or bad can spark the process; what should I pack for vacation, what's up with that child or that friend. I am usually spared from work thoughts, although I have hung a few exhibits in my head over the years. Just when I think I have reached my breaking point, one perfect slumber will save me.

Which brings me back to this morning’s thought. I have not only slept through Scott's last 2 late night check-ins (I still need to know they got home safely), but Jeffrey has also had to wake me when he left in the morning. Both situations are highly unusual. I'm never been fully REM until I know everyone who is supposed to be sleeping home is sleeping home. My mornings have always started when Jeffrey wakes up at 6 (regardless of whether he remembers to turn off the louder than necessary alarm); he's up so I'm up. These recent changes got me thinking, could all this daytime reflection be taking the place of my nocturnal analysis? I'm going to give it a few more weeks and see if the theory holds, but if it rings true I may be taking this journey way beyond 50.