Last night was girls' night out, celebrating a friend who just completed her Journey to 50. She wears it well (even better in her tiara last night), as do all the others at the table who previously marked the passage. Now that I think about it, there were only 2 of us left in the 40’s (or at least the last few months of it); nothing like hanging out with my “older” friends to make me feel young! Kind of interesting to evaluate the demographics of the 9 dinner guests; 4 empty nesters, 2 more next year, me the year after, 1 with a middle-schooler, and 1 previous empty nester with a grandchild in the house. 7 working, mostly full time, all married over 20 years, 13 sons and 7 daughters, 13 college tuitions; which in total means we had many glasses of wine and a lot of laughs. Which would also explain why I did not post a blog yesterday.
Even though I had no intention of making dinner a blog topic, and wasn’t intentionally lying when I told them I wouldn’t, I felt otherwise inspired today. Reflecting on the evening this morning got me thinking about what happens when 9 women sit around a table. The ladies among us know full well that no conversation is ever completed and no topic is off limits, and for the men out there, sorry you will not learn any secrets from me, can’t break the sisterhood circle of trust. I can confirm we are not talking about sports or the stock market. All the dynamics were in place for a good night; round table (rectangle leaves too many people feeling left out), manageable amount of women, everyone knows each other, no uncomfortable history (we are not the Real Housewives of New Jersey), loud restaurant (neighboring tables can’t hear the details) and a group that is not afraid to speak their mind. The toasting began at 7:30 and the cake and candles arrived by 9:30. I’d love to say we went clubbing or bar hopping afterwards, but really, we are still suburban mostly 50-year-old Jewish women. We went home, watched the news and went to bed – if I’m wrong about anyone else let me know. It is possible that one of us did slip out a bit earlier and she could have been headed to a casino, but I will await confirmation on that one.
In between we covered a range of topics, starting with the arrival of the appetizers. There were a few remarks about the Risotto Balls that quickly headed in an immature direction, not surprising that we arrived at the lowest common denominator within moments. Obviously we spent a good deal of time on our “perfect” children and a minute or two on our also “perfect” spouses. We attempted iPhone photos, but as you can imagine there was a good deal of secret deleting happening. My Missoni from Target stirred up some good-natured jealousy; can I help it if I arrived before it was all sold-out and accumulated a number of excellent wardrobe additions. At Target, as in life, the early bird catches the worm, or in this case the highly sought after, much coveted, zigzag knitwear. Don’t hate me because I had the release date on my calendar; stay tuned for the Jason Wu collection, shop with me if you dare. There was an unfortunate red wine spillage that landed on a new shirt across the table; I’m not sure if anyone took ownership for the splash, just glad it wasn’t me. We ran through a variety of “news” items including, Michael Jackson’s good doctor, Conrad Murray, the illustrious father of 7 children from 5 mothers, 1 wife and 3 girlfriends (I could be off on the details, but not by much). I’m sure he thinks that all these young attractive women were attracted to his good looks and personality and not his access to Michael Jackson? As parents of college kids, we spent some time on the recently released Amanda Knox, a universal nightmare. We also agreed that the media (and perhaps the Knox family), need to spend a bit more time remembering that Meredith Kercher, someone else’s college daughter, was murdered.
When we’re done covering “news”, we always manage to critique our latest television addictions. Dancing with the stars naturally led to Chas Bono, which segued into sexual transition, which began a lengthy evaluation of the process, which parts Chas has done and which he won’t, and how those parts will work. I added my recent interaction with the Target customer service “person” who was obviously en route to womanhood, and luckily for me was not accused of any embellishment; three of my fellow diners confirmed my description exactly, right down to the nametag. No disrespect intended, I’m sure it’s like being a “tween”, not quite fully developed but trying your hardest to act like the big girls. You Go Girl!, high-five to Target for being on board. The “housewives” always get ample discussion time; toss up between Theresa Guidice (NJ) and the recently fired Jill Zarin (NYC), and some ample “dissing” of Lisa Vanderpump, her husband Ken, his sexuality, their “friend” Cedric and their ridiculous dog, Jiggy.
We spent a few minutes offering child-rearing advice to the “Grandma” in the group. Not sure how qualified any of us are, no infants in any of our houses for over a decade. We did have a Preschool director, so her advice is not only acceptable, it is “up to the minute” and pediatrician approved. How is it that I raised three children who all survived naptime and sleep time face down in their crib, which nowadays would warrant a scolding from the experts and get a teacher fired? I’m also fairly sure that I did numerous things wrong with car seats and pacifiers, but the damage is done, and they seem to be thriving. Thankfully, (currently knocking on wood) I will not have to test out my baby knowledge any time soon, and regardless, as the mother-in-law I will have “no clue” what I am talking about.
Cake arrives; I do not believe there was any singing. The group gift is presented. Group gifts are the best for a number of reasons; better to get one big gift than 9 tzotchkes, only 1 or 2 of the givers has to be responsible for selection, one of those people generally has a good sense of what the birthday girl would like, and the card is also usually “all for one.” Only bad if you are the person who is collecting the money or selecting the gift, both can go from bad to worse if there are too many givers, it’s either too little or too much money, or the recipient is traditionally difficult to please. In this case, I believe we all paid up and she was very happy with the selection. We all got a gift in return when the birthday husband arrived on the scene to treat all the celebrants to dinner, a very generous and unexpected addition to an already great night. Nice touch “BB”, raising the bar for all the other husbands.
I should do this more often, there must be something we can celebrate on a monthly basis. No gifts required; just girls, dinner, discussion, drinks and the rest will unfold on its own.Iknow, if we meet on the 13th of every month we can count down the months until my “Journey” is complete. Who’s in?
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