Do Over


I’ve always been intrigued by the concept of a “Do Over." I would like to believe that if we aren’t pleased with how something went the first time around, we could at least have a “Do Again.” Imagine for a minute if we had the power to "Pause and Rewind”; which episodes would you like another take? Golfers get them, called a Mulligan, defined as when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action, traditionally at the tee shot. If we stick with this analogy, then "Do Overs" should be allowed when you mess something up initially, and you would not be subject to a penalty for the faulty first attempt. On a side note, many charity golf tournaments (including the one at my workplace) sell “Mulligans” to raise extra dollars, lots of them; corrections are apparently very valuable. Not sure how this would translate to a real-life second chance, but it may be worth some discussion.

I can’t say I would want or even need that many "Re-Do’s" during the course of my lifetime, but it would be nice to have few in my pocket for the bigger screw-ups. Sort of like the fictitious Genie in the Bottle and the Three Wishes; you don’t want to waste them on something stupid, and obviously you can’t use them to get more. But sometimes, when the dust settles and we can see clearer, the chance to do something differently or smarter the second time around would be beneficial to most people. Even colleges are giving some consideration to the idea that a single slip-up should not leave a permanent mark. Grade forgiveness is a trend sweeping college campuses, this program offers undergraduate students the opportunity to repeat a course and have the original grade not calculated in the cumulative grade point average. Can’t say that any of my college students have ever been fortunate enough to take advantage of this opportunity, and it’s not because they couldn’t have used it. I like the idea that one fraternity party which results in a poor test grade would not have a lasting impact on the already impossible post graduate search for employment (just to clarify this is not a specific reference to my own graduate). Most of our early mistakes are unfortunately the result of immaturity or impulsiveness and even the most naive might make a different choice if given another opportunity.

Certainly many a politician has been the recipient of a second-chance, and others who may have deserved one were shamed into seclusion for an offense that had very little impact on their professional life. I am making a very definitive stance to not site any specific examples; this blog will not be a forum for my partisan views. This is largely due to my rather limited understanding of the issues, combined with some, more than likely, non-politically correct opinions.  My point here was simply that there are opportunities for restoration that exist in the public eye. A blunder that is committed in front of millions should be much harder to erase than the ones that only affect a few, and yet that is not usually the case.

Personally, I would have to say that I can only think of a handful of situations in my life thus far that I would like to have another crack at. One of which I won’t get into now, because I know that it is part of another blog topic in the months ahead. Most of the others have to do with parenting missteps that most of us have made, and even if I had the chance to give it another shot, I’m not sure things would have turned out any differently. There are certainly some people I have loved that I let slip through my fingers and relationships that were once important that I have not put enough effort into, both of which I would like have a chance to rebuild someday. Not totally sure if revisiting the past would have any impact on the present, but it would be nice to try and make repairs or at least clear my conscience. I'm not intentionally being vague, but in most cases, these instances involve other people's stories that I don't have the right to share. I will say that I have learned time and again that there are 2 sides to every story (or “pancake” as my mom sometimes says), and maybe I wasn't always willing to see the alternate view, or even if I did, at the time it wouldn’t have made a difference. I guess my best advice, if I am entitled to offer any, is to remember that we don't usually get a second chance, so we should do our best to treat people and situations as carefully as possible the first time around. More succinctly, think before we act, and avoid the damage in the first place.

I wish I could tell you why this particular topic popped into my head today, maybe I’m feeling badly about a conversation I had yesterday or something at work that I didn’t give a 100% attention to, can’t really be sure right about now. I just have this distinct feeling in my gut that I'm handling something wrong or making unintentional errors in action or judgment. Could also be that all this blogging is churning up old emotions and old transgressions that I wasn't quite ready to bring to the surface. Then again, I suppose that was the intent of this "Journey"; I just thought I would be able to control how and when I dealt with the issues. Guess not, so today you are the recipient of a more reflective Jill, and not a totally forthcoming one. Just because I am confronting the past, it doesn't mean I'm ready to share it yet, so be patient, we have many months to go.

For now, I will hope that tomorrow brings better focus and a clearer head. As for today, I suppose I’m looking for some cosmic insurance policy that whatever it is that I feel like I may be screwing up, I want to make sure that it’s fixable. So if by chance I did something to make anyone angry or hurt lately, cut me some slack and give me a “Do Over.”